Be a Nice Outsider: What to Do If Your Best Friends Break Up

You should probably be there to help if your best friend is going through a break-up; but things might get a bit subtle if two of your best friends break up with each other. You could no longer keep bashing on the other side saying “it’s definitely his / her fault” – the last thing you want to do is to easily bias toward one side and get yourself caught and lost in awkwardness, and even in the worst scenario, breakups with these friends.

The rule here is, therefore, being neutral. Here are 3 tips you can follow to tactfully handle these situations:

(1) DEFINING YOUR OWN BOUNDARIES

Be clear about what you can do for your friends. You might talk to both of your friends, listen to them vent and complain, but be cautious about adding your own attitude, because it can be hard to tell what in fact went between them. You can, maybe, advise them on how they can get out and move on, but it’s better not to judge and gossip about others without knowing what happened.

(2) KEEPING YOUR LIFE BALANCE

If you ever have got into such predicaments, you know it takes time and effort to support your friends. Make sure you set your own schedule to talk with them and catch up, but don’t end up spending too much time on this or messing your own schedule. Always put your life balance at the top.

(3) KEEPING THE SECRET

Be careful about what you talk to other outsiders and what you post on social media. You might want to refrain from posting about the situation, because it’s important to keep the news within the need-to-know range. It’s more important not to let your attitude affect your friends’: they might have cut off social media ties with each other and don’t want to be disturbed, or, your subjectiveness might just make things worse.

Rachel Sun

Roaming in between the worlds of sleep and awake.

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